six years later...

strange typing again, but there I am reading other people's shit. other people's shit that isn't even like all that great. like a step above mediocre, maybe. that could be a stretch, but it's not. this blog doesn't get the pageviews that my other one still does, but there I was in the shower thinking, "who was it that made those weird spliced up videos about the Von Erichs again?" and then somehow it brought me back to those glorious posts on TC that began prior to a WHOLE buncha shit that happened. lemme try to reconcile this while I still have a few synapses remaining...

• got married (my parents didn't come)
• lost my job (it was on a wednesday, i believe)
• turned into a lazier shit than prior
• burned a hole in my parents couch while reading the likes of Caro and checking CSPAN way too often
• worked at customer service as the infamous LifeStation for a month by misappropriating my entire resume. 
• signed up for the army in mid 2010, then off to basic training in 2011
• deployed to afghanistan for like the first 6 months of 2013
• that's all

excuse the whole lower case typing right now, but eventually, i'm gonna start writing again for real. if only to vent and get thoughts out that couldn't find their way out otherwise. 

in the mean time: i'm gonna start by posting excerpts of things i wrote on my deployment. it was a rather mundane experience and while i'd never snowden what happened, i want to keep everything posted to things that are personal, heartfelt, truthful. so there.

i'm still in the army and will start working on my masters in international relations. i think this outlet could help more than can be explained. 

An Astonishing Ending

We here at Testicles Chowdhury regretfully announce the ending of our contribution to the Internet. But we have many excuses as to WHY...
1. The amount of monies that we were promised by the Russian diplomat never did come through.
2. The promises of a mysterious Nigerian opium merchant to keep our enterprise alive were all lies.
3. Our dedication towards betting on the horsies even if it meant chain-smoking with the toothless degenerates that continously walk in and out of the OTB. Marlboro Smooths, homie.
4. Too much time browsing through the myspaces of independent professional wrestlers, obvious fake porn-site controlled whores and lackluster rappers such as Stan Spit and Shyheim the Rugged Child.

We have many more, but you don't want to hear them, do you? No, we don't think so.

All we can do is dead this for good, but keep this up as a tribute to the fantastic subjects that TC interviewed: Wallace J. Tavlov, Cubs Fan, BWT and the highly esteemed Paul Kent.

Regardless, a new blog will be appearing soon. It will probably die the sad death, but give it a try: It's called the Iron Sheik Youtube Review.

Let's Not Forget

Bangladesh advanced to the Super 8 by beating a feisty Bermuda team today. We're moving up in one way, but not another. It's good to know that there's a sport out there that the Americans can not compete in. It's good to know that the people of Bangladesh, a poverty-stricken nation that has dealt with piss-poor corruption forever, can be happy about something these days. It just took their cricket team to do it for them.

What We've Been Doing All This Time

Jamie Dundee Speaks The Truth In His Lies

He's one half of the tag team that no one seems to forget. Acclaimed for the rapping skill, ringrat fucking and being unforgettable personality, Dundee is not afraid to make people uncomfortable as he talks about giving Billy Joe Travis cocaine, which ended up killing him, being the son of Bill Dundee and not really giving a shit what you, Allah or the bastards in Kentucky think. FUCK YOU AND THE TOWN YOU CAME FROM, MOTHERFUCKER.












Iron Sheik vs. Sgt. Slaughter Boot Camp Match
Before "Making People Humble" became the true slogan of 2006, the Iron Sheik was having great matches with Sgt. Slaughter before his body began to break down (he started wrestling late) and he resorted to waving his flag to smartly keep his heat and enjoy a token run as a manager for the Sultan and a run as the Iraqi, Colonel Mustafa.












Chris Hero makes his way to NOAH and doesn't necessarily set the world on fire, but still captured the attention of the audience. But the question remains: Is Chris better than "Thunderbird" Bret Como? And am I the only person to be intrigued with Mohammed Yone (who I always get confused with Chocoball Makai)?





















And here's some pictures that we took during our really long hiatus!





Wilbur is the greatest plant in the world and is the OFFICIAL PLANT OF TESTICLES CHOWDHURY!!! We got him from somewheres, but he is ours and he supports the Testicles Movement.














Yeah, the offices have looks pretty lackluster lately. Well, they were until the super of this building kicked us out for not paying the lease renewal.
















I hear she's recommended since this advertisement has been scrolled on benches throughout Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

TC Presents Interviews with the Kaiju Byrdgang: BWT

BWT is a men of many faces: bouncer, rapper, surveyor of truth and whatever other things haven't been noted yet. However, he is someone who deals with day-to-day issues. And he will be annoyed by them. Or cheer himself by saying "BAAAAAAAAAAAALLIIIIIIIIIIIIN'" outloud. When he's bored. Or receiving a POV blowjob while listening to Joe Budden's "Dumb Out". (Is it Budden or Buddens? Yeah, he's that memorable.)

So, without further bullshit, here's part one of "Interviews with the Kaiju Byrdgang" with BWT. Okay, more bullshit but more interesting (probably not).

BWT: dude i am just kinda chilling trying to talk my friend out of seeing his ex gf
TC: it won't work
BWT: he is all like 'yo i haven't seen her in 2 months i wanna see her'
TC: he'll fuck her again
TC: it's inevitable
BWT: Yeah thats what he wants to do
BWT: faggot
TC: she'll cheat on him again
TC: but he will be tamed by the twat
BWT: LOOOOOOL
TC:it happens
BWT: i know but it is not cool in my book not after the way he treated my man and the fact that i will have to hear him bitch about it for months now
TC: find some new pussay
TC: shit, yo
BWT: this is what i told him to do
TC:common sense
BWT: dude to be honest she ain't nothing special
TC: oh well you didn't fuck her, he did
BWT: lol thats right
TC: ahahaha
TC: Life Lessons starring BWT and Tan
BWT: dude i know some shit
BWT: some not much
BWT: i know enough to never see a bitch again after she moves back in with her ex bf without telling u
BWT: but tanvir let us talk of more important things
BWT: the history of wsx
BWT: did you read the great john barbers report of the marathon?
BWT: he talks as if the show has a future it was soo awesome to read
TC: I did not, sir.
TC: I gave up, unfortunately.
BWT: itso n the observer site
TC: oh, then I'll definitely not read it.
BWT: lool
BWT: why si that
TC: I like just the Meltzer updates but I hate recaps. I'm too old to read anyone elses shit these days.
BWT: i read the raw guy he's not bad
BWT: and justin shapiro when he wrote there
TC: I like the DOI shit cuz it's scummy
TC: Shap's my nigga
TC: the only Jew I like
BWT: hahaha
BWT: well tell him i am a big fan of when he wrote about pro wres things
BWT: everytime i go to doi i feel like i am about to get a virus
TC: ahaha I'll spread the word
TC: an internet version of an STD
BWT: yeah
BWT: they always have like fat indy girl pictures on ads there too
BWT: i am ashamed to read wrestling sites where other people can see
TC: Websites without sleazy indie whores on multiple banners are websites I want nothing to do with
BWT: lool
BWT: the indy wrestling female is like wow soo sleezy
BWT: people talk about the wwe broads being ugly
BWT: indy wrestling girls are worse in a diff way
TC: my boy was in love with Becky Bayless for a night.
BWT: dude i see like 10 becky bayless's a night when i work
TC: I bet
BWT: not that thats a good thing i'm just saying
TC: she did sleep in the same room with Raven when she was 14
BWT: loool
BWT: that is soo funny/sad when i read it
TC: great shit
BWT: yeah man raven
TC: He's the greatest of the scumbags
BWT: lol
TC:which is why I like him
BWT: yeah i mean he was cool a few times
BWT: but most of the time not so cool
BWT: plus smarks love him
TC: Fans are drawn to his antisocial character cuz they
TC: are pretty much the same way
BWT: without the drugs and sex of girls
TC: and with the porn and living with their mom in their late 20's
BWT: lol
BWT: raven did porns?
TC: No, but they're the ones scouring it, not Raven

Mysterious Swede Speaks Out Regarding Recent Layoffs

Testicles Chowdhury has been going through some problems lately, which is why the blog has not been updated in its usual prompt manner. Yes, some people were laid off. We had to cut back somehow, so we had to let go of some individuals. However, our loyalties only reside in the people we care about the most: YOU. So we apologize to all of our beloved readership. However, our Fearless Leader Mysterious Swede (p.b.u.h.) would like to send a personal message out there to all of you:

GREETINGS

I AM MYSTERIOUS SWEDE AND I WANNA SAY TAHT RWERYTHING OK

NO MORE LAYOFFS
NO MORE FIRINGS

JUS FUNNY THINGS, YEA!!!!

OKAY TANHDKS BYE BYE

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You

Our staff at Testicles Chowdhury have been working frivolously! We sat down today and decided we all were gonna go on Youtube and watch wrestling matches and comment on them. We feel it is imperative that people watch them because we say so. If there is a god, then there should be professional wrestling. And if there is professional wrestling, then there must be a god. Why, you may ask? Well, the Bible talks about the eternal struggle of good having to triumph evil and stuff. Well, yeah. It made a whole lotta sense in our heads a few hours ago.



WAR - Bob Backlund, Jimmy Snuka and Mil Mascaras vs. Perry Saturn, John Kronus and Hector Garza
This match will be memorable because of about two things: Backlund's whiteboy dancing [complete with weird ass shaking, which totally not reminiscent of Destiny Child's "Bootylicious" video] and the crowd just loving Jimmy Snuka. Sure, this is all clipped to Hell and whatnot, but the ending was accomplished - a nice legends/jobbers match with the legends getting the win in the end. The comedy is great, Kronus hits that cool flippy moonsault thing and I just dug it. Best match I watched on the computer in a long time!



Lord Steven Regal vs. Tony Pena
Just a fantastic 3-minute gem of a match with Regal and the unmasked Villano IV bringing it with mat wrestling. We here at TC have always been a fan of Regal's snooty British character. However, we feel that his teeth should have been more wretched in order to garner authenticity from uneducated, loathsome and ignorant wrestling fans like us.




Raven vs. Dr. Death Steve Williams
Just a great spectacle watching Raven and Williams taking big bumps. Really liked how it first started with Raven controlling early with the chair and later going through the table. Williams getting up from two Steviekicks was pretty neat. I really want to see Raven/Gordy again, as it's one match that Raven was really proud of having, since it's considered by some to be Gordy's last great match. Anyhow, we believe that the best matches are the ones that the fans believe in and care about. And they cared about it in the end.